Eye: All good writers have to have at least one. Eye: One. Eye: In the beginning, there wasn't anything there. Eye: Not necessarily. Assume, for a moment, a state of non-existence. That is, imagine that once upon a time, there wasn't anything. There were no frogs, or trees, or dirt, or molecules, or atoms, or quarks, or statistics, or math, or aything. In fact, there was such an incredible lack of an amount of stuff, there was not even a consciousness to notice that "nothing" was there. Got me? Eye: Ok, now that you understand specifically in every possible way what I mean, I'm gonna tell you that it doesn't matter. Eye: Same as usual, to prove a point. A state where no thing exists is an impossibility. Eye: Good question. Once upon a time, a man was drinking pretty heavily and came out with, "I drink, therefore I am." Descarte was his name, and he later changed the statement into, "I think, therefore I am." Eye: I figured. Do you know what it means? Eye: Good, but why? Eye: Right. So, if you can think, you must exist. Eye: Uhh. . . yeah. How can this thought be extended? Eye: To put is as simply as possible, an extention is kinda like introducing a new concept to what one already has, and then makes logical conclusions based on those new, or as-yet-unseen relations. Eye: Try this one on. If you have the number two and the plus sign [For all those who missed the first day of kindergarten, a plus sign looks like, " + " and allows you to do things like ridicule Bill Gates because he has so many of them in his bank account, or add numbers, depending on your point of view.]. Try as you might, you will never have anything more than 2 + 2 if you only have a two and a plus sign to start. However, if one extends his thought processes and thinks that 2 + 2 has a possibility of being something other than a combination of two and a plus sign, he can begin to make conclusions. The mathematical representation of this extention is, of course, the equal sign [Mr. Kant taught me that one . . .]. Using this third concept, one can get four, or add more twos and get 8, or add more and get one quadrillion, three hundred fifty-six trillion, eight hundred seventy-five billion, three hundred twenty-four million and two. ClueSo in other words, if you take the idea that the ability to think undisputably shows that there must exist something which is doing the thinking, with the proper tools, you can extend it into something else. Eye: Technically, that depends on your definition of something. In this case, I am simply choosing to refute the state of nothing- ness I was talking about earlier. Eye: Exactly! And that, my liege, is how we know the earth to be banana shaped. Eye: Well, imagine a blank piece of paper. On the page are two dots. Eye: Pencil, pen, marker, blood, etc. It really doesn't matter. There are two dots on a piece of paper. Eye: One of those dots represents something, and the other represents nothing. Eye: It just does. Eye: Anway, if there were a line connecting the two dots, it would be straight. Eye: Right. That line represents something I call a pole. Eye: Well, there will eventually be an entire page on poles, but it hasn't been written yet. So, I'll start with your other question. That line is a pole because it . . . connects two points that are opposite. Well, it doesn't really connect them, it just allows them to exist . . . Think of opposites. Eye: Yeah, like right and wrong, or happy and sad, or right and left, or up and down, or right and read . . . err, write and read, or yes and no, etc. Eye: If you did not have right, there could be no wrong, and vice versa. Eye: If right (as in a moral standpoint) were the only thing there could be, then wrong would not exist. Wrong would not exist because it would be impossible to take two separate events and compare them. One could look at the first event and say, that is right. Then the second event would come along, and because right is the only thing there is, that event too, would be right. Eye: Yeah, I think that's what I mean. Anywhoo, right would represent one point on the piece of paper, and wrong the other point. A pole is formed because there can be some things that are more right than others, and likewise with wrong. Eye: Yeah. Furthermore, if I am to attempt to make sense of the world [which I'm doing at this very moment], then I must also assume that there are different degrees of existnece. Eye: Remember that piece of paper with the two points on it. One representing existence, and the other, non-existence? Eye: So, when you draw a pole between the points, if you locate a spot on the pole in between the points, you'd have a particular degree of existence. Eye: You're not. However, it makes sense to me, and in this story that I'm telling, the pole is a necessary part. However, you may, or may not, decide whether or not the individual (dicrete) points on the pole exist. Eye: Why bother . . . So, the question then becomes, what exists? Eye: Well, here is where religion had the ability to enter into life in a very real way. Eye: Because the only thing that could have existed at that "time" COULD be God. Eye: I don't need to believe in a God because I understand my God. However, before I get lost in a tangent . . . There was a thing that existed, a thing that didn't, and a pole connecting them. Eye: I'm not much of a math major, but I believe in mathematics. I believe that math has an ability to represent the world we live in, and make predictions about that world using its equations. Eye: I believe that the thing that existed was a type of math equation, algorithm, or system of logic. Maybe all of the above. In order to make that belief plausible, the equation/algorithm/whatever had to have one particular property. Eye: It has to be able to describe and/or define itself. Eye: Say it were a simple math equation. That equation had to have the property of being able to generate other random equations and also had to be albe to choose from among those equations the ones that it thought best described it. Eye: I thought not. You, the person reading this, have the ability I was just talking about. That is, you can randomly pick a new hobby, like sky-diving, and do it. After you've done it (or perhaps even before you've done it), you can decide whether or not you like it. If you liked it, you'll probably do it again, and if not, would probably try something a little less adventuresome, like watching paint dry. Eye: I personally believe that man, or woman, or both but now I think the point is getting out of hand, is what man does. Eye: Something like that. I can choose to sky-dive, or I can choose not to. Whatever choice I make in that regard has then become a part of my being. Eye: I try to live by the expression, "Don't knock it 'till you try it." And although that expression, as I use it, has one exception, sky-diving isn't it. Eye: Not at all. If I don't go sky-diving, I'm making a statement that I have no clue what the experience is like and should never be considered as a valid source of information on the subject. On the other hand, if I go sky-diving, I'd probably love it and be telling everyone all about it. Eye: Death, but I'm not certain as to whether or not I've tried it. Eye: Well, when you put it that way, I suppose I have. I guess I failed. . . or succeeded, depending on your point of view. Afterall, I am still alive. However, that too, is an entirely different page [not yet written]. So, getting back to the piece of paper, we have two points. One represents nothing, and the other represents a mathematical equation. This equation has the ability to describe itself, or rather, to create extensions of itself and modify or discard those extensions. Eye: The pole is the (also) imaginary line between the two points. Eye: Well, just to make things easier to read, I am going to give a name to the aforementioned equation. Eye: Tom isn't a bad name, but it isn't my first choice. Reminds me of this kid I had a crush on when I was in high school. How about Lapp? Eye: Lapp is the name of the equation, among other things, but she too has her own page. Eye: At the moment, yeah. Of course, that opinion is subject to change without notice. Eye: And then we go an examine Lapp's "mind". Eye: Because I think therefore I am, I believe that Lapp the Equation could notice things with her mind, or that she was somehow aware of her surroundings (or lack thereof). Eye: In circles, as far as I can tell. Anyway, Lapp noticed that she existed. She also noticed that on the other end of her pole, she didn't exist. Eye: Because she was dumb, had nothing better to do, or both, she went back and forth and back and forth along the pole. Eye: Well, she did have speed. Lots and lots of speed. In fact, she had so much speed, she started giving it away to the neighborhood kids for free. Eye: Oh, sorry, wrong kind of speed. Well, she vibrated between states really really fast. Eye: Sure. Lapp was aware of herself. And then, just before a nano-second had gone by, she was aware that part of her wasn't herself (in other words, she was aware that Nothing was at the other end of her pole). This formed two opposite states of awareness. Because she move back and forth so fast, she began to vibrate. Eye: Perhaps, but I've always thought the orgasm occured just before conception, and we haven't gotten to the physical conception yet. Although the mental part occurred just as Lapp chose. Eye: That said, no, she hasn't orgasmed yet. Eye: Apparently. As she vibrated back and forth, she eventually realized that she could overshoot her bounds. Eye: She'd be going from one end of the pole to the other, and would actually go past it. Eye: Too much drugs. Anyway, when this happened, she began to spin. Eye: Yeah, spin. Go get the pencil you drew your dots with earlier. Pretend the end with the graphite is Lapp, and that the end with the eraser is Nothing. The rest of the pencil represents the non- existent pole. Now, place the pencil on a flat surface and spin it. That, is spin. Eye: Now, because it is the easiest way to continue the story, I'm going to let the scientists take the stage. Eye: Regardless, Lapp and Nothing vibrated and spun around until they had a child named Quark. Eye: Exactly, not at all. A quark is the name scientists have given to the "elementary particles" that combine to make electrons and protons, and fun stuff like that. The electrons and protons combine to make things called atoms. The atoms combine to make things called molecules. The molecules combine to make things call chemicals. The chemicals combine to make things like nuclear explosions. Eye: What can I say, I'm a cynic at heart. And that, my friends, is the story of the physical creation of my universe. Eye: Either you've chosen a story of creation you favor, created your own, or don't really exist. Anyway, that is the way I have chosen to represent the physical creation of matter in my universe. Eye: Concepts are of a totally different nature. They can be seen on radio four at seven pm on Friday nights.